Goodbye past, Hello future [November 6th marks the start of something amazing]

I’ve been stuck on my past for too long now. And today is the day it changes. I met someone amazing. Someone caring, kind sweet and really beautiful. Someone I want to be with for a very long time. Her name is Ashley. He puts the biggest smile on my face. There are not words that make describe how happy she makes me. Finally, I've found the person I've been waiting all this time for.

Dear You

dealing with you has become much more of a chore since i found out about the stupid shit you do. much more sadness and frustration and sadness and fewer kicks and giggles. you're not the you i thought you were (and i don't much care for the you you are these days). it feels like we should cut it off before it gets worse. you don't care and it feels like you did but you hit a wall and said: "well, fuck this kid" and you just left. the words you say have no meaning anymore. it all feels like bullshit that yousay just so i'll stick around long enough to help you with your problems when all the shit comes crashing down. then (and only then) will you realize how worthwhile of a person i am. i deserve so much better than guessing you you give a crap. that's not fair to me. so i'll leave while you don't notice. and when all the shit comes crashing down and you come crawling back? it'll be too little too late. i'll be long gone.

10 Songs You Really Should Be Listening To (My Summer Playlist)

Quiet Little Voices - We Were Promised Jetpacks
I Was A Wreck Avoiding The Wreck Involving The Road - Cyrus Fell Down
Crying Lightning - Arctic Monkeys
Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Search Party - So Many Dynamos
Gunfight - Boy Eats Drum Machine
Slow Show - The National
Glove Compartment - Finn Riggins
Green Eyes - Discover America
The Size Of My Fist - The Woodrow Wilsons

Top 25 Albums - In No Particular Order.

1. Catch For Us The Foxes - mewithoutYou
2. Neon Bible - Arcade Fire
3. Funeral - Arcade Fire
4. The Question - Emery
5. Again, For The First Time - Bleach
6. Hi-Fi Revival - The Orange County SuperTones
7. Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not - Arctic Monkeys
8. Favourite Worst Nightmare - Arctic Monkeys
9. Damn Dude, Damn - Cyrus Fell Down
10. The Boy Vs. The Cynic - John Reuben
11. Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene
12. You Forgot It In People - Broken Social Scene
13. Boxer - The National
14. Is This It? - The Strokes
15. No Sir, Nihilism Is Not Practical - Showbread
16. [A-->B] Life - mewithoutYou
17. The Weak's End - Emery
18. Oh, Inverted World - The Shins
19. Flashlights - So Many Dynamos
20. They're Only Chasing Safety - UnderOath
21. Bitter Blue - Karli Fairbanks
22. Brother, Sister - mewithoutYou
23. A Solider, A Saint, An Ocean Explorer - Finn Riggins
24. The Bare Truth About Philmore - Philmore
25. Give Up - The Postal Service

nickole's poem for sean

&superman's here to save you
to take you up, up and away.
fix all your probems,
bbydoll, unlike the others,
maybe he wont run away.
Super human strength make him capable
of handling all your stress,
Always able to handle your pressure.
Best friends forever means forever,
Even if millions of miles seperate you.
Holding hands, fingers intertwined,
Together we'll take on the world,
Together we can fly away.
Leave behind the acid and the drugs
Leave behind the people that judge,
Just me and you together,
Best friends til the end.

inhaling thrills through 20 dollar bills

go ahead
take your clothes off.
because apparently that's all your worth.
oh, and those drugs you're consuming?
go ahead and shovel them down your throat until you feel nothing
you're changing
but why?
we both know that you are better than clothes on the floor.
better that the shit you inhale to make you "feel better"
it breaks my heart knowing that you are doing what you were so strongly against.
nice job, hypocrite
now every word that falls out of your mouth means nothing.

I'd write you a dictionary to verbalize your brilliance

Do you remember when we met?
I do.

I was fifteen. Young, aspiring.

You were bold, and seemingly fearless.
And over time, i've grown to make realizations of you and all your worth.


You once created fireflies in my eyes, years upon years ago. They lit up my face with a glow that was more than empowering. I felt alive.

If I could vebalize just how amazing you are and have been to me, we'd be here a long, long time.




I have tried. But relentlessly, I feel like I have failed. I'd have to create new words for proof, but i'm not sure if it is time for that.



The fireflies are gone, but my eyes still get a dim glimmer when I speak to or of you.


I'd dedicate my written dictionary to you and hope that I could make you feel as important as you did to me when you woke up at 3 a.m. every morning to leave me those 'have a great day' voicemails.


Three years have flown by us, haven't they? But I still admire you.

Thanks to Brandi for writing this for me.